Texting, walking, deaths, Michelle Obama, fountains, the mall and YouTube

If that headline does not get your head spinning and your mouse finger clicking, I’m not sure what will. We seem to have a problem with the cell phone texting thing. Other than the fact it can cost some of us a quarter to send or receive just one of these 140 character pieces of literary art, we’ve got people getting killed and some taking unexpected swims.

All of this started in May of 2009, when our team here at Radio Vice Online informed readers of the expanded plan to put gym padding around lampposts in the U.K. to keep mobile phone texting experts from knocking their heads as they walked along the sidewalk.

My suggestion was to put those ball pits you find at the kid’s activity centers all over the place.

Today we hear – possibly as a result of First Lady Michelle Obama’s efforts to get people “moving” again – people are indeed moving more, but are continuing to manipulate their smart phones in one way or another and getting killed in the process.

WMAL in Washington, D.C. reports a safety organization is suggesting Michelle’s efforts to “get more active” could be partly responsible for an increase in pedestrian deaths.

Governors Highway Safety Administration spokesman Jonathan Adkins told 630 WMAL that Michelle Obama is “trying to get us to walk to work and exercise a little bit more.  While that’s good, it also increases our exposure to risk.”

After four straight years of steady declines, pedestrian deaths were up during the first six months of 2010, the latest figures available to be studied.

That’s just terrible. I’m counting down, awaiting some lawmaker, somewhere, to suggest we must ban texting while walking to prevent deaths.  You really think I’m kidding don’t you.

5 …. 4 … 3 …. 2 ….

Looking for proof this phenomenon is really a problem? You want the truth? Here’s the video. Just watch as this tragedy unfolds and the unsuspecting texter walks right into a fountain at a mall.


I feel the need to add (I’m not sure why) … they story over at WMAL may well be a real story, but for that safety organization to suggest Michelle Obama has the power to change the lifestyle of people in such a dramatic way they are getting killed in the process is the most absurd stretch imaginable.

Update: Morrissey at Hot Air slaps this stuff silly. Go read his post to find out what the Governors Highway Safety Administration considers a trend. It’s ridiculous.

6 replies
  1. Dimsdale
    Dimsdale says:

    I saw that this morning on the news, and I am still laughing!!  How apropos!  And how instructive as to the level of distraction for you drive-while-texting types.


    I also heard that the "text swimmer" has hired a lawyer….


    Maybe the government needs to put a "10 texts per day" law to make us all safe!!  /sarcasm

  2. Pooch1
    Pooch1 says:

    People are dying while texting? This is as big an issue as the recent handgun/"high capacity" magazine ban….Why isn't there a 15 day waiting period on cell phones? Why aren't there laws to license people to carry them? Lastly, we will need to limit the number of texts a phone can send to 10 or less……   (although I shouldn't post this, somebody might think I'm serious, and sent it to the capitol)

  3. weregettinghosed
    weregettinghosed says:

    Sometimes I wonder how far can the imagination go and if truth truly is stranger than fiction, then I read things like this and my answers are facing me clearly.

    Accountability for cell phone texting accidents, like all accidents caused by stupidity, should be expected in the real world, given to the perpetrator of stupidity.  You act without common sense, you are responsible for the outcome, no one shall come and make it all better, that fact left after you turned five years old.


  4. GdavidH
    GdavidH says:

    Hey Pooch1,

    It could happen!

     I remember reading a story about someone proposing using the GPS capability on the phones to limit their use if they are moving. This was in response to teens texting and driving.

  5. JollyRoger
    JollyRoger says:

    I'm calling Congressman (Pasty Face) Courtney's office tomorrow! We need lifeguards at each of these mall fountains- one life is too many, and a texter could drown in as little as one cup of water- especially within 30 minutes of eating at the food court! Each state employed lifeguard would be supported by at least ten private sector workers, so 10,000 state employed lifeguard positions would create at least 100,000 private sector jobs… This could be a bigger effing deal than the GM bailout! This crisis cannot go to waste! Support your local union mall fountain lifeguards and mall-cops!

  6. BEA
    BEA says:

    OMgosh! I burst out laughing when I saw the "text swimmer" as Dims calls her…first of all, because what she did was just plain silly and secondly, I could totally relate.

    I'm mortified to admit that when I finally gave in to the texting craze 5 months ago I decided to text my son after his football game to let him know where I was parked. As I clumsily struggled to text and walk out of the stands I came within inches of a chain link fence before someone shouted, "Hey, you're gonna get hurt!" I was humiliated, but I learned a big lesson.

    She needs to stop the foolishness because people are still laughing at her, but now it's for more than the fountain folly!!

Comments are closed.