The Fun Police: When the Party’s Over…

Apparently, reality is slowly settling in on the Beer Police in Philadelphia.

For those coming late to the tale: Read more

Food Police: How many calories are in that olive?

And, does it matter whether it is a black olive, or a green olive?  Luckily, we’ll soon find out.  Given the obvious, clear cut dangers to our health posed by salad bars, the Affordable Health Choices Act being pushed by Sen. Dodd (D. Ct.) will come to our rescue.  This proposed legislation provides,

Section 403(q) of the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act is amened by adding (H)(iii)…in the case of food sold at a salad bar,…a restaurant [with 20 or more locations doing business under the same name]…shall place adjacent to each food offered a sign that lists calories per displayed item or per serving…

You can find this laughable section beginning at page 401, line 22 of the above link.  I’ll let you ponder who pays for these signs, and how large the serving area will have to grow to accommodate all these signs.  I just hope I’m not in line at the “salad bar of the future” behind someone who wants to read each and every sign for each and every food item before making a selection.

But, it gets worse.  Subsection (viii) is also added to provide,

…in the case of food sold from a vending machine that…is operated by a person who [owns or operates] 20 or more vending machines, the vending machine operator shall provide a sign in close proximity to each article of food…that includes a clear and conspicuous statement disclosing the number of calories in the article.

You can find this section of the proposed legislation beginning at page 404, line 4.  So, I’m wondering, with all these clear and conspicuous signs on the outside glass of vending machines, will we even be able to see what’s inside?

Feeling left out as you don’t own 20 or more restaurants, or 20 or more vending machines?  Well, not to worry.  Subsection (ix) provides that you can choose to be covered by the above rules if you want to!  Any volunteers?

I sincerely wish I was making this stuff up.  It is so silly that it is better suited to a Three Stooges comedy routine than a federal program paid for with your money.  But, on the bright side, thousands will become employed checking each restaurant and vending machine to ensure compliance.

The national “food police”

You knew it had to be in the Affordable Health Choices Act being pushed by Sen. Dodd (D. Ct.), and, you were right…a national food police.  Beginning at page 399, you can read about The National Labeling of Standard Menu Items at Chain Restaurants and from Vending Machines.  I hope you will pardon me if I simply refer to this section as the “food police” as that is far easier to type than its given name.  The good news, here, is that it would appear from reading this provision, vast numbers of this country’s unemployed will now have a job with the federal government and private industry trying to implement this nonsense.  And, depending upon your view point, the bad news is that there is so much to “like” about this provision of the proposed bill, it will probably take several posts to cover it all.  So, as they say, let’s begin.

Section 403(q)(5) of the Federal Food Drug and Cosmetic Act is amended by adding…(i)…in the case of a food that is a standard menu item that is offered for sale in a restaurant or similar food establishment that is part of a chain with 20 or more locations…the restaurant shall disclose…in a clear and conspicuous manner a nutrient content disclosure statement adjacent to the menu item …[reflecting] the number of calories in the standard menu item…and a succinct statement concerning caloric intake…designed to enable the public to understand, in the context of a total daily diet, the significance of the caloric information…

And, just in case other information becomes some how critical (in some one’s mind), the food police can mandate, by regulation, that this “newly discovered” important information be disclosed as well.

This gibberish…um, information must be disclosed adjacent to the menu item, and, much like the Miranda card carried by every police officer to make sure someone arrested understands his or her rights, must be available in written form on the restaurant premises should any customer request it.

Armed with all of this required information, you will realize that a burger, fries, and a shake is not a “food group” (even though you already knew that), you will pay more for whatever you order to cover the costs associated with the mandatory “disclosure statement”, and, you will still order what you want anyway.

Ain’t America great!

California’s food police

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the Los Angeles City Council using the Jessie Jackson Shakedown Plan to force big-box retailers like Home Depot and Lowes to add buildings – with services – to their property to support “day laborers.”

Not to be outdone by Bernard Parks – the councilman who proposed office space for illegal aliens – Jan Perry, another city council member, has proposed a law to put a moratorium on new fast-food joints for the next year. No more Carl’s Jr. for you son, you’re too fat. Read more